worried


today was a wierd day, and sometimes i wonder if i can finish what i started, here it is my supposed last semester of grad school. i had a wierd dream that had me waking up crying, and wondering what the hell was i dreaming, and then my whole day was thrown for a loop. then i supposed to be reading papers to finish the first part of my thesis to give to my committee and i can’t do it, i can’t write the way some researchers do, and i feel completely stupid!!! i am a video producer, not a writer who talks about who the audience is, what method i am using, what is my research question, ugh, i am just stressed i think. gawd, what is wrong with me, this should be the best part of my grad semesters and it is not working, my tuition bill is due, i hope i can pay it, i just paid rent, for my low income apartment, and i hope the check does not bounce.  how am i gonna pay tuition, if my scholarship is not there in the next few days, i hate being this stressed, and then i am suppose to go on a travel trip next week, how in the world am i going to swing this? the last time i went on an all expense paid trip was for that youtube contest, and the thing that sucked was that the food was horrible and everyone was drinking…and i wasn’t drinking…cuz i was trying to kick out a story to get paid, and get interviews before museums opened and the worst part is:  that check is being held up cuz i need to send some other stuff in before they send it out…wow…thats all i have, maybe just maybe this will help

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